Remember Me?
by LoreilDarksky00
Summary: In the Chamber of the Ordeal Joren sees the one who isn't who he loves even though she is. He remembers the first time he met Kel, though he's sure she doesn't remember. Can they watch lanterns again? Or will their current friends try to keep it "normal"


When Joren walked into the chamber and it shut behind him, he could feel his arrogant attitude dissolve the instant that face formed on the ground beneath him. The chamber's face. _How does that even work, anyways?_ He wondered to himself.

Keeping his mouth shut, he glanced around, wondering what exactly was supposed to be happening. As if hearing his thoughts, the face smirked. The expression sent chills down Joren's spine. He shuddered.

"Bored?"

A familiar voice from behind him… too familiar. He slowly turned to see a girl. But not just any girl. This was the girl that caused him so much pain, so much annoyance, so many problems and as much as he used to hate to admit it this was the same girl he had fallen for.

"Wonder why the chamber keeps this place so boring," she continued, everything she was and everything she wasn't at the same time. She had the same voice, the same body, the same eyes… but it was all different. Wrong.

"Aren't you going to talk to me, Joren?" Kel asked sadly. "Or do you hate me as much as I think you do?"

Joren swallowed hard, and looked away. If this was his Ordeal…

"Is that it?" She sounded hurt, now, her Yamani mask breaking and falling to pieces as her eyes darkened, the happiness he always seemed to find in them suddenly gone and replaced by a heartbreaking pain. "Do you hate me?"

No… no, no, no…

He couldn't. Couldn't hate the damned _girl_…

He opened his mouth, but shut it just as quickly. This was his _Ordeal_. He couldn't talk. This wasn't Kel… Was it?

"So you do hate me," Kel—not Kel—concluded. She looked away from him, lips pressed together to hide the trembling.

_Gods above… If this is some sick joke…_ he thought, as he stared, unable to move by a force he knew to be the chamber. Didn't know how he knew, he just did.

Here, in front of him, was the very same girl he tried so hard to get to quit. The very same girl that drove him crazy, that made him want to just plaster her to a wall so she couldn't go off and get hurt doing battle that _he_ should be doing for _her_, not the both of them doing for no one.

Here, in front of him, was the girl he'd first met before she'd even left for the Yamani Isles, though he knew she wouldn't remember him. The memory played again and again in his mind…

_FLASHBACK_

_He sat on the ramparts of the palace, having jumped into one of the notches in the wall to see better. He noticed the girl that had also come up, after he did, as she walked towards him and pulled herself into the notch beside him, but he didn't say a word. _

_He'd been nicer back then, so much more naïve and childish that it hurt to think of just what he was now._

_He glanced at her, saw her looking down happily, her long, mouse-brown hair tugged by a playful breeze. She looked up at him after a while, and smiled. _

"_Hi! I'm Keladry of Mindelan. Who are you?"_

"… _Joren," he replied after a pause. "Joren of Stone Mountain."_

"_So it's your parents who are meeting with mine right now," she smiled again and looked back out over the Royal Forest, which was darkening as the sun began to set. "It's so pretty…"_

_He let himself nod. _

_After a while, it got too dark to see anything, so he turned to go, but she grabbed his hand. "Where are you going? The best part's yet to come!"_

"_But it's dark," he protested. "There's nothing to see!"_

"_Sure there is!" she giggled, tugging until he sat in the notch with her. "Look!"_

_At first he didn't see anything where she was pointing, but then he realized that she was looking at the tiny dots of light that signaled travelers or homes. _

"_I like to watch them," Kel said quietly. "They remind me of fireflies."_

"… _I guess so," he admitted. _

"_If you imagine lines between the dots, sometimes it's like there are pictures," Kel said. "Like over there." She pointed towards the left. "When I look at it, it looks like a horse."_

_Joren looked, unconvinced. But as Kel pointed out more and more of them, gradually he began to see the lines in between the tiny lights._

"_See?" Kel said with another smile. "Sometimes it takes a while to see what others do. But once you do you never forget."_

_He only nodded._

_Their parents came up to the ramparts to find their children pointing out lights to each other, laughing quietly. When they were told it was time to go, Kel looked down before taking something from her pocket and handing it to Joren. He looked at it._

_It was small stone, carved into the shape of a sun. It was a common river pebble, but the expert carver had brought out the sparkling shards on the inside._

"_Keep it," she told him right before they bid each other good night. "Remember me!"_

_END FLASHBACK_

He stared at the girl in front of him, the one who was so… _Kel…_ but so obviously not her. Not the one he loved. Not the one he wanted to protect. Just… not Kel. Slowly, ever so slowly, he forced his body forwards. When he stood in front of her, he placed his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him hopefully.

And he whispered, "You aren't her. I can't let the real Kel go. I can't stop her… I could stop you. And there's the difference. Kel always finds a way through everything. Even when I hurt her, she still became a squire, because that's what she wanted to do. She wouldn't love someone like me… Or like what I hope to stop being. But that doesn't mean I'll settle for second best. I've still got to try. I can't stop just yet."

And the not-Kel smiled. She lifted his hands away.

"And there's your answer," she said softly. "You've a lot of work cut out for you."

He nodded, as she began to dissolve. It was going to be hard. But since when was anything easy? Remembering who he used to be hadn't been easy. Remembering the girl he'd met hadn't been easy. Seeing Kel on that first day of her page years hadn't been easy. Accepting who she had become hadn't been easy. Accepting he loved the girl she had become _definitely_ hadn't been easy. What would be?

The chamber's face formed again on the stone floor.

"_Well spoken,"_ it whispered. _"While you went against tradition by speaking… it needed to be said. Especially by you. Will you be better for it?"_

With a slight smirk, the leftover personality from his teen years still on the surface, he replied, "Always." The chamber doors began to open, and before anyone could see him, he whispered a quick 'thank you'. The face grew a smirk of its own.

In his mind, he heard its response.

"_Don't get cocky. I'd hate to have to drag you back here and make you go through something worse."_

And he walked out with his head held high, back straight, and eyes bright. He didn't know who was more surprised at his appearance; himself or the crowd in the chapel. But he didn't care. There was one thing that mattered above all else.

With that on his mind, he began to run.

And, for the first time, the crowd heard the chamber speak: "_Leave him go where he will; he has a quest of his own to make."_

Joren found Kel talking with her knight-master, and slowed.

"Kel… may I speak with you?"

"… Of course…" she said, slightly hesitantly.

He reached into his pocket, his hand closing around that same small stone she'd given him so long ago. Taking it out, he took her hand and placed it in her palm. "Now who's forgetful," he said softly, before he started to walk away. He paused as she called out to him, and when he turned he could see that she knew, and remembered.

"Would… could we go up there again?" she asked, the sun-shaped stone held close to her chest. "Like we did before?"

He smiled, a true, honest-to-god smile.

"I'd like that."


End file.
